All the Single Ladies

     I've read a handful of letters by young single bloggers about waiting for the right person to date and what kind of qualities to look for in a significant other.  While many of these bloggers carry wisdom in their webpages, I have found that these articles have caused me to make a shopping list of characteristics I should look for in a significant other.  Although qualities like integrity and honesty are fundamental for trusting relationships, traits like "always make me laugh", "should take you on random adventures", "can sing beautifully" or "always opens the door for you" are on the list, the guy who is sitting next to you at the movies can turn from being a unique individual into 'boyfriend-build-a-bear'.
      Believe me, I've been there.  As a 20-year-old single woman who has never been in a relationship, I am (I admit much to my dismay) the queen of making high and sometimes unrealistic expectations for guys. If they don't make all the checks on my personal list then I won't give them a chance. Recently however, God's been breaking me of my prideful heart.  There are certain qualities that I hope to find in a mature significant other such as a man of integrity and a follower of Jesus, I can't expect to force people into a box that I've created out of pride and distrust in God. If there was someone I wanted to know me better and they sized me up to their personal significant-other-standards of things like "long blonde hair" (I'm a brunette and proud of it) or "always makes amazing food" (which I don't by the way although I love making cookies) or "is super adventurous" (I'm not planning on going sky diving ever), I would be sorely disappointed they put me in a cookie-cutter of unrealistic expectations.
     Here's my conclusion; I personally know many amazing women who struggle with singleness and are waiting for a man to sweep them off their feet (we all want it, I know), and these articles about waiting for a man who will respect you and lead you are very good things to keep in mind. But I plea with you; let's take the time to be the best that we can be.  That I can be.  How can we expect a future significant other to have all these qualities if we're not taking this time of singleness to work on those very things we long to see in someone we desire lifelong companionship with? I want a man of integrity? Well, I better be a woman of integrity. I want to trust my man completely? I better work on becoming more trustworthy. I want a man who will listen to me and respect my opinions? I better start improving my listening skills and engage with people and hear their opinions.  I want to be the best woman I can be for my man. Being single is hard at times, I know that personally, but it also allows you special time to focus on yourself without the cloudiness a relationship brings. So all you singles out there, let's stop looking back at our lists and lets start being the best we can be right now.

ocean breeze

8:51

philosopher 

audubonian

house by the water

waves of grain

the call

yellow

dry creek

Boston

a walk in the woods

 

of bees and sunflowers

in my own little corner

daring scavengers

eyes: the window to the soul

little miss boo

walk on the beach

your fate, next right

its Texas